Jungle Julia: Excuse me for living but what is "the thing"?
Arlene: You know, it's everything but.
Shanna: They call it "the thing"?
Arlene: I call it "the thing".
Shanna: Do guys like "the thing"?
Arlene: They like it better than "no - thing".
Shanna: He said, "I am letting you and your girlfriends stay at my lake house, not you and a bunch of horny boys trying to get their fuck on with my daughter".
Jungle Julia: I don't wanna be either "A": depending on their fucking ass or "B": depending on their ass.
Jungle Julia: For your information, skinny bitch, black men and a whole lot of motherfucking white men have had plenty fun adoring my ass. I don't wear their teeth marks on my butt for nothing.
Jungle Julia: But maybe a little later in the evening, you've had a few drinks, you're kind of loosey-goosey, you're safe with your girls...then some kind of cute, kind of hot, kind of sexy, hysterically funny,
but not funny-looking guy comes up and says it, then maybe you did it earlier, maybe you didn't.
Shanna: Just remember: it's Shanna Banana not Shawna Banawna.
Warren: I love that philosophy: "Warren says it, we do it. "So let's do it!
Dov: Dude fucking cut himself falling out of his time machine.
Pam: Hey, Warren, is there anybody in this place you could vouch for to give me a ride home?
Stuntman Mike: Fair lady, your chariot awaits.
Pam: Is that cowboy wisdom?
Stuntman Mike: I'm not a cowboy, Pam. I'm a stuntman.
Pam: Hey, Warren, who is this guy?
Warren: Stuntman Mike.
Pam: And who the hell is Stuntman Mike?
Warren: He's a stuntman.
Stuntman Mike: Hey, are you famous or something?
Jungle Julia: Or something.
Pam: Well, who's your brother?
Stuntman Mike: Stuntman Bob.
Stuntman Mike: "The woods are lovely, dark and deep and I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. Did you hear me, Butterfly? Miles to go before you sleep".
Stuntman Mike: Do I frighten you? Is it my scar?
Arlene: It's your car.
Stuntman Mike: Ah. Yeah, I know. Sorry. It's my mom's car.
Stuntman Mike: There are few things as fetching as a bruised ego on a beautiful angel.
Jungle Julia: What about "kind of cute, kind of hot, kind of sexy, hysterically funny but not funny-looking guy who you could fuck" did you not understand?
Stuntman Mike: Well, Pam, which way you going? Left or right?
Stuntman Mike: Ah, that's too bad.
Stuntman Mike: Well, because there was a 50-50 shot on whether you'd be going left or right.
You see, we're both going left. You could've just as easily been going left too and if that was the case,
it would've been a while before you started getting scared. But since you're going the other way I'm afraid you're gonna have to start getting scared ... immediately.
Stuntman Mike: Hey, Pam, remember when I said this car was death proof? Well, that wasn't a lie. This car is 100% death proof. Only, to get the benefit of it, honey, you really need to be sitting in my seat.
Jungle Julia: For your information, Pete Townshend, at one point, almost quit The Who and if he had he would've ended up in this group, thus making it Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mitch, Tich and Pete.
And if you ask me, he should have.
Abernathy: Oh, you best get your ass off Kim's car.
Lee: I've seen Kim sit on it before.
Abernathy: Her ass ain't your ass.
Abernathy: All of Kim's boyfriends start out as somebody else's boyfriend.
Kim: I did not steal him. I didn't steal any of them. They just ... jumped ship.
Zoë: Actually, uh, it was Cecil's sex life that was on the table and your lack of one.
Lee: If you stretch shit out like you have with Cecil and you suddenly get dirty on them, it blows their mind.
Kim: Having said that, before you get too envious of Zoë's prowess, you're missing the most important
part of that story. You didn't fall in the ditch, Zoë did. Zoë even knew there was a ditch there because you told her and she still fell in. So, Lee's right. We all have our talents.
Kim: Look, I don't know what futuristic utopia you live in but the world I live in, a bitch need a gun.
Jasper: What do you horny gals want?
Kim: Whatever with your "however".
Abernathy: Don't play dumbass with me.
Jasper: What's a cheerleader movie?
Abernathy: A movie about cheerleaders.
Jasper: Is it a porno movie?
Abernathy: Yes, it is. But don't mention it. She's shy.
Kim: Hey, good-lookin'! Be back to pick you up later!
Stuntman Mike: Get ready to fly, bitch!
Stuntman Mike: Hey, ladies! That was fun! Well, adios!
Abernathy: Let's kill this bastard.
Kim: I'm the horniest motherfucker on the road!